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Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2023 10:54:42 -0500
From: "Timi Darlington" <sweett53@zohomail.com>
Subject: Tranny Tips
Tranny Tips.....
Practical Suggestions for the Occasional Amateur Cross-dresser.
Introduction.
Greetings! My cross-dressing name is Tricia although I now go by my femme
name, Timi. I'm what you might call a "seasoned" and bi-sexual
cross-dresser. I'm married and I require a great degree of secrecy when
cross-dressing. Oh, but I do have lots of wonderful memories of getting
dolled up, dating men, shopping and exploring many fun "tranny friendly"
places here in OKC and in several area cities.
Over the years, I've learned various dress-up techniques that worked well
for me and may have value for anyone who likes to secretly dress up and may
have time and money limitations. If this could be YOU or you just like and
appreciate cross-dressers, you might have interest in this Seven-Part
series covering most of the tranny basics including Make-Up, Grooming,
Undies, Wigs & Wardrobe, Accessories, Cleansing (for sex) and Where to Go
once You're all dolled up! I've learned to take the "KISS" approach as in
Keep It Simple and Sensible. We all have different face and body types and
my thoughts may not apply to all. I just work with what the Good Lord gave
me.
I would love to receive any questions or comments. I may not have the
answers. However, I may have some practical and helpful suggestions. I do
want to emphasize that my tips are more for occasional, amateur
cross-dressers with limited time and money and not necessarily for the
"professionals"! My e-mail address is sweett53@zohomail.com, (two "t's"
before 53).
Now for our first session: Make-Up!
Applying make-up is so much fun with each step part of the transformation
from male to female. The techniques I provide were provided me by a
make-up consultant several years ago and still work well for me. If you
are new to make-up, the process will be awkward at first with lipstick
askew and mascara in the eyes. Don't worry! As in most things, we improve
with practice and it can eventually be done in about 30-45 minutes! You'll
need a steady hand and that will come in time. You may enjoy experimenting
with different colors and applications. What worked for me, may not work
for you. But, if you really enjoy cross-dressing, make-up is a great place
to start and none of this has to be expensive!
First step: Facial Preparation. You'll want a good, close shave. I
recommend a 2-3 blade razor and some good shaving gel. Take your time and
shave twice over areas you may have missed. Next, do a cold or ice water
rinse. This will tighten skin pores helping achieve a nice, smooth face.
Next, apply a liberal amount of body lotion. "Equate" products at Wal-Mart
do just fine. Lotion sooths your face and smooths it out for the
foundation step.
Second step: Apply a Foundation. I have a fairly light to moderate beard
with moderately large skin pores requiring a good foundation. I use
theatrical make-up that comes in a small round vial and available at
costume stores. The kind I have is Ben Nye Cream Foundation. Some
assistants will actually help you find the right match for your skin tone.
I prefer a light to moderate beige. Use your fingers to smooth the make-up
on your face beginning with your forehead, eye lids, under the eyes, nose
cheeks and jaw line. I don't go below the jaw as powdered make-up and a
pretty scarf can help with your neck. Be sure to fill any skin pores.
Applying lotion first helps with that process. And, be sure to wash your
hands well when you're finished!
Third step: Apply Loose Powder. At this point, your face will look
"painted" and a bit greasy. Don't worry! You're almost there. Loose
powder comes in a medium sized vial and available at Wal-Mart with a
"powder puff". I use Maybelline Shine Free. You will want a tone that
comes close to the theatrical make-up. Again, I use a warm or light beige.
Sprinkle some loose powder on the powder puff and PRESS it into your face.
Be careful not to rub it in as that will remove the foundation you just
applied. Pressing the powder into all the areas of your face where you
applied the theatrical make-up should leave you with a nice, smooth
feminine face with no "shiny" areas.
Fourth Step: Eye Treatment. I don't do a lot of eye make-up believing that
too much really is too much. I use black or off black and you may prefer
browns or other shades. My eyes are "close set" or, simply close together.
So, I apply eyeliner and mascara more to the outside portions of my eyes
which gives the appearance of having wider set eyes. For eye brows, be
sure they're uniformly trimmed (using hair trimmers with a short setting).
I use a Covergirl eyebrow pencil to darken my eyebrows again with more
emphasis on the outer edge of my brows. The pencil may come with an
"eraser" or rubber tip on the end. Use this to blend the pencil line into
your brows to achieve a uniform appearance. I use the same pencil to
darken my bottom eye lids. Again, more to the outside to "widen" my eye.
It is amazing how a little application can accentuate my pretty blue eyes!
Next, I use a Covergirl "Supersize" Mascara to brush my eye lashes. Once
again, I emphasize the lashes on the outer edge of my eyes to widen them
and it takes some practice. But, you'll love the results.
Fifth Step: Lips. I love doing my lips as it makes me feel so feminine and
sexy! I want the color to stay on my lips and not on my Man. So, I use
Covergirl "Outlast" which comes with separate lipstick and gloss
applicators and provides a very long lasting, two step approach. The first
step is applying the color. I love bright red! Make sure your lips are
dry before applying. Use the applicator as a pencil and carefully "draw'
along the edges of your lips. You'll get better with practice! Once done,
fill in your lips with smooth strokes. The color needs about 3-5 minutes
to dry. So, don't close your mouth! While I'm waiting for my lips to dry,
I put my wig on and tie a pretty scarf around my neck (to cover my "Adam's
Apple". Once the color is dry, apply the clear gloss.
Sixth Step: Wrap-Up. You're almost done and I hope it was fun! With your
wig and scarf on, you will see a pretty woman in the mirror! Now you're
ready for some finishing touches. You'll want to add just a touch of
blush. You can purchase blush. But, I use a time proven approach of
applying a dab of lipstick to your cheeks (usually just below the cheek
bone) and gently rub up and back over the cheek bone. I use Loreal tube
lipstick of the same color as my lips. Your facial structure will be
different than mine. So, you may want to experiment. But, again, I choose
less rather than more as it is easier to add more rather than try to make
corrections from adding too much.
Next, you're ready for your pressed powder which comes as a "compact", a
three-inch diameter vial and about a half inch wide. I use a Covergirl
compact and again, I'm using a beige color that matches my foundation and
pressed powder. Inside the hinged lid you will have mirror and small
powder puff type applicator. Using the applicator, apply the pressed
powder everywhere that you used pressed powder making sure there are no
"shiny" areas. The pressed powder will cover some, but not all of your
rosy cheeks giving you a nice, natural looking blush. You'll also use this
to powder below your jaw line and upper neck almost but not all the way to
your scarf.
Next, if you want, do a little eye accent by applying a little eye shadow.
Eye shadow comes in many colors and combinations. I just use a very simple
Covergirl 2-3 color combination. I apply a light, almost off white powder
and gently brush underneath my eyebrows. You can then apply a blue or
other color underneath and on your eyelids. Just a touch to avoid the
"black eyes" look.
Touch Up. Inevitably, your make-up and lipstick will need to be freshened
up, especially if you've been kissing or "something else". If you're going
out, just bring your tube lipstick and compact. In most cases, these two
items will repair or refresh any "damage". If applied to dry lips, the
Covergirl "Outlast" will wear well. However, you'll want to bring the
gloss applicator and re-apply as needed. Should the "Outlast" not last,
you don't want to reapply and wait five minutes. Instead, just revert to
the tube lipstick. For make-up touch up, the compact works great on any
areas that need to be smoothed out. The lipstick and also restore your
"blush". Be sure to apply before using your compact.
Wash Up. Finally, if your cross-dressing is your little secret, you'll
want a nice clean face with no trace of make-up after your activities.
What you'll want is a sink, some good, basic soap and a wash cloth. Work
up a good lather with soap and water on your face with your hands. Most of
your make up will rinse off just from this process. Next, work up some
lather in your wash cloth and scrub the more stubborn areas (make-up in
pores, traces of eye liner and mascara and lipstick traces) and rinse.
And, yes, be careful not to get soap in your eyes! Do a thorough check for
any last traces. If you can, have someone do a last look with emphasis on
the eyes and lips. Finally, apply aftershave to sooth your face.
A note on Nails and Lashes. Finally, you may have wondered about doing
fake nails and eye lashes. If you're a pro, cross-dress frequently and
have plenty of time, then go for it! However, as an amateur with little
time to dress up and get out, I don't do fake nails or lashes. Aside from
the time it takes applying them and taking them off, I never seem to get
the lashes and nails exactly right and they do fall off. Instead, I apply
a reasonable amount of mascara on my lashes and make the best of what I
have. My hands don't lend themselves to fake nails. Frankly, my fingers
are too wide. Instead, I keep them nicely manicured and use lots of lotion
to keep them soft. Note also that, over time, fake nails and lashes might
ruin the real ones! The constant applying and pulling off can make your
real nails very rough and fake lashes can pull the real ones out. It's a
matter of individual preference. When I'm out, I don't even think about
them (and most Men don't seem to mind). If you have feminine hands, a
pretty nail polish can make any set of nails look great ~ at least for a
while! Make sure they're thoroughly dry! You might try a color that
matches your lips.
Our Second Session: Grooming!
Some may see grooming as boring and tiresome. Part of the fun of
cross-dressing is that feeling I get doing those little feminine things to
keep my body as soft and appealing as possible for Men! When I exercise,
diet, trim, shave and perform other personal care chores, I'm thinking
about how good I will look and feel. I might also be thinking about my
special Man who I might be dressing up for or an upcoming outing that I'm
planning. Although I don't dress as much as I used to, I still enjoy what
I call "submissive discipline" or doing what I can with what God gave me
(and didn't) to look and feel as good as I can. So, I enjoy it as part of
my routine.
We're all built differently and we all won't look like our favorite idol.
For me, it would be Marie Osmond ~ when she's dieting. Yes, cross-dressing
is a fun, enjoyable experience. But, it is just a part of my overall
"being". It shouldn't dominate other aspects of our lives including
starving ourselves or running marathons to lose a few more pounds or
inches. I invite you to find a happy median between good looks and your
overall life balance. So, if the size 6 won't fit without a lot of misery,
be happy with a size 8 or 10! Grooming and how it fits our life style,
interests and objectives will vary for each of us and what I do may not be
a fit for you. With that understood, I'll be covering my thoughts on
height/weight proportion, exercise, diet, body hair maintenance, "other"
hair, and some notes on applying body lotion and nipple care.
Please note! If you believe that you want to pursue an exercise and diet
program to achieve the right weight and appearance, great! For most, that
should be a healthy course of action whether they cross-dress or not.
However, before you start, please check with your doctor to be sure that
the regimen you want to follow is healthy and right for you. And, you may
want to start gradually.
Height/weight proportion: Regardless of how you view your body, you might
google "height/weight proportion" to find how you compare to a woman of
your height. I'm 5'9'' (without heels), and what I discovered was that my
weight should be 128-135 pounds for a small frame, 132-147 pounds for a
medium frame and a 141-158 pounds for a large framed woman. Well, one look
at me and you would know that I fit in the large frame group. But, I like
to think my clothing looks best if I weigh around 146-148 pounds.
Unfortunately, my weight can creep over 150 pounds which will make me feel
and look "puffy" in my favorite tight, short mini and tailored blouse. So,
while I'm still "proportionate" at that weight, my goal is achieve
something below 150. But, I won't make the rest of my life miserable in
the process. Just a pound or two each week. So, with a reasonable goal in
front of me, I engage both exercise and diet. To me, both are inseparable
and invaluable, not just for occasional cross-dressing but for a healthy
life in general.
Exercise: I don't really like to exercise and question people's sanity who
do! However, once established as a habit (after a few weeks) you will
begin to miss doing it if you skip a day or two. My time and financial
budget doesn't allow for gyms or exercise clubs. Rather, I have a few
simple routines that involve walking, running and tummy toning exercises.
• I walk about 1 mile every night.
• I run up to 3 miles 2-3 times each week (every other day
is best)
• I do 60 "sit-ups" and,
• 50 leg lifts (while on my back lifting my legs together,
spread, together then down)
To break the monotony, I enjoy music while I walk and run and, to get my
mind off those "sit-ups" and leg lifts, I massage my nipples. I find that
very stimulating, especially early in the morning!
Diet: Oh that awful word: diet! I believe in "everything in moderation".
I've tried fasting to lose that extra pound and have been miserable only to
learn that some patience, mixed with some exercise and discipline can
achieve the same results in a few weeks. Yes, I get complacent, take my
eye off the scales and when I try that nice, short skirt on, I might pop
the button! It is all just a matter of focus. Do I want to lose those
pounds or not? So, I visualize fitting comfortably in that skirt, wearing
it to some fun bar and maybe meeting up with my Man. By doing so I can
focus! So, when I need to, I set out to lose 1-2 pounds each week, or,
about 4-5 ounces a day.
This may seem very bland to most of you. But, here are my basics:
• Drink 4-5 glasses of water each day to aid in digestion.
• Eat at least 1-2 fruits and 1-2 veggies every day for
balanced nutrition.
• A simple bowl of cereal in the morning and an inexpensive
granola bar mid-morning.
• Soup and crackers for lunch and fruit snack mid-afternoon.
(I like Ramen noodles. Yuck, right?)
• Eat whatever I want for dinner but in moderation.
• If I run, I reward myself with a mug of ice cream or other
snack late at night.
(Once I'm at my desired weight!)
My routine doesn't vary much which is especially helpful when cleansing (
that is doing an enema). What I find helpful is eating whatever I like for
dinner and periodic snacks during the day. That way I don't get ravenous
toward evening.
Body hair maintenance: Something a little less onerous is body hair
maintenance. This will vary a great deal based on whether you need to keep
cross-dressing your little secret at home or work, your own feelings about
body hair, and how often you cross-dress. I've met Men with full beards who
loved cross-dressing and felt very comfortable in "their own hair". Once
again, my tips are based on my own personal preference. I'm moderately
hairy and my family doesn't know that I cross-dress. So, I have a
maintenance program that trims what body hair I have very consistently so
that no one notices. Otherwise, my undies and cross-dressing strategy help
to disguise or camouflage what I can't trim or shave with some notes below.
Each week, I use a razor and hair trimmers with three settings or
attachments.
• Shave my ass (pussy) and upper legs. There can be some
irritation shaving upper legs.
â—¦ (Instead, thigh top hosiery can cover the upper legs.)
• Trimmers on shortest setting (no attachment) for my
fingers, hands, shoulders, upper chest.
• Short attachment for my breast/nipple area, hands, inside
arms, upper thighs.
• Next attachment or setting (slightly longer) for my legs.
â—¦ (Black fish-net hosiery is great for disguising leg
hair!)
• Next attachment or setting (a little longer than previous)
for my arms and lower body.
And, when I know I'm going dress up,
• I shave my upper chest area down to where my corset will
cover me below my breasts.
â—¦ (Chest hair will grow back in a week or two and you
may want to cover up until!)
For me, back hair is a bit problematic. If light, a lot if it will be
covered by a nice corset along with a nice, thick and long wig. Hey, I
know it's there. But, out of sight, out of mind. Some might use a little
hair removal cream like Nair, applied with the help of a long plastic spoon
or something to add a little "reach". Be sure to shower well and wash your
hands.
"Other" hair: What do I mean by "other" hair? Some of us older
cross-dressers discover that hair stops growing on top and starts growing
on our ears and out of our nose ~ yuck! We also tend to have bushier
eyebrows. We don't want to do a great make-up application only to realize
we have some ugly "sprouts" coming out of our nose or use a eyebrow pencil
on bushy eyebrows or have pretty earrings adorning hair ears. For ears, a
small trimmer, a battery operated Remington is very safe to use.
For nasal hair, I use a good pair of tweezers and try to pluck the hair
completely out. How much might be in your nose will determine how much
"plucking" is required. I try to yank as much as I can each month. Or, if
I know I'm going to dress-up, it helps to just examine the nostrils and
pluck out any annoying sprouts. A little ouch from time to time reminds us
that beauty is a journey and a destination.
My eyebrows are not overly bushy and some girls have fairly sizeable
eyebrows like Brooke Shields. So, I don't shave them or trim them too
close only to invite lots of questions at work or home. However, I do have
some individual eyebrow hairs that tend to grow long and wild. A good pair
of scissors will work in trimming those back. Again, once each month works
for me. Or, I'll double check if I have a dress up opportunity. Like
make-up application, if you're not used to doing trimming and plucking, the
first few times will feel very awkward. But, after the first few tries, it
will become much easier!
Notes on body lotion and nipple care: Every morning I apply body lotion on
my "derriere'" and breasts! Over time, I think it helps keep these areas
soft and smooth. Just in the past few years I've given lots more attention
to my nipples! For a long time, they stayed hidden under my bra. Well, no
more! Now I love making sure my Man has access to them to nibble, bite,
pinch and squeeze! And, when I'm on my own, I like doing the same thing!
From all of the attention lately, it seems they've actually gotten bigger,
longer and "perkier"! I love the slightly sensitive feeling they give me
almost all the time now! So, each day, they get plenty of pinching,
pulling and massaging! If you're daring, use two suction cups from a snake
bite kit. I use a little lotion to help with the suction. Don't leave
them on too long or they will blister the skin around the nipple. Oh, but
when I pull them off, my nipples are huge! They don't stay huge long.
But, they are fun to play with while they're "inflated"!
Our Third session: Undies!
If you cross-dress, you probably remember when you started and some of the
first things you wore! I started with my mom's undies. However, she was
very petite. So, as I grew, I moved on to undies "liberated" from my
friend's sisters or mothers. Also, when I was young, clothes lines were
still common and, with an early morning newspaper route, I had lots of
access to undies! Anyway, what works for me as far as style, color and fit
may not work for you. So, with that noted, let's start with Colors and
then Panties, Retainers (for keeping our male parts "retained"), Corsets,
Bras (and falsies), Hosiery, Garter Belts, Bed Jackets and Negligees and
finally, Care.
Colors: When it comes to undies, I'm "basic black". Not only are black
undies very sexy, black goes with just about everything in your wardrobe.
Furthermore, black conceals minor stains much better than the more vibrant
colors such as pink, beige and certainly whites. Also, most underwear
manufacturers offer black as a color of choice. Finally, black seems to
wash and wear better than colors in that pastels or whites seem to fade
faster. However, by all means, pick the color that you love and that looks
good on you. But, for one on a budget, black is a good way to start. Now,
having written this, I do love having lots of panties in vivid colors and
prints as most colors go well with a black corset and bra.
Panties: Undies are my favorite topic and panties are my favorite undie.
Oh, I remember my first ones that I "shared" with my mother. They were
black with little lace ruffles. They felt so good on me! Her underwear
drawer was my secret paradise with panties and other undies to try on. I
found one of her old girdles in the attic and claimed it as my own! I've
tried dozens of panties that I "liberated" over the years from various
women, my relatives, mothers of friends, friends of friends and the
clotheslines. So, I like to think I know something about panties! Over
the years, I've become a little pickier about the kind that fit me and
still look and feel great. So, here are my thoughts.
I'm acquainted with four basic styles: the "full" brief that fits at the
waist (but I find these a little too old fashioned). There are the
"bikini" types that look great on the right woman (but don't offer much
support for male genitals). There are the "thong" types that offer nothing
in the way of support. Then, there are "hip-huggers" that fits across the
hips and offer some support for containment and concealment. They are
relatively easy to slip on and off under a skirt for when we have to visit
the "sandbox" or "other" activities.
As far as fabric selection, silks and satins are obviously a desirable
choice when you can find and afford them. Cotton panties are more popular
these days. However, my whitey-tightie male briefs are cotton. So, no
thanks! Still very common are nylon or nylon blend fabric panties that are
easy to find, very affordable and feel great. And, yes, men enjoy the
silky feel of nylon panties when caressing our ass, hips or between our
legs!
A big issue, of course, is that panties weren't designed to cover or retain
our male "equipment". Most panties have a narrow crotch area with
elasticized leg openings just wide enough to cover the vagina and little
else. Some of the sexier panties have very little crotch area whatsoever.
So, male "equipment" tends to slip out of hiding very easily. Therefore, my
choice of panties are the ones that are the nylon blend, "boy cuff"
hip-hugger style having elasticized leg openings with sufficient crotch
area to retain my "equipment". I find the "George" brand very appealing
and feel wonderful. They are very inexpensive and you can find them at
Wal-Mart. This brand offers a wide variety of colors and I purchased every
one! I measure 36 inches at the hip line and find that size "5" or "small"
panties fit well offering a little extra "snugness" for what is between my
legs.
Finally, panties look adorable on female models. But, on me, they tend to
look like wrestler tights. I love little sewing projects and enjoy
trimming the leg openings with gathered lace. Lace comes in a variety of
colors. However, since black is my "base" color, I use black lace on
whatever color panty I purchase. I use lace that is about an inch to two
inches wide leaving a nice lacy trim around each leg. Now, when I pull my
panties on, the lace makes them (and me) look much more feminine!
Retainers: For a little extra genital retention under my panties,
especially when I'm out and about in a skirt, I use a simple knee-high
nylon stocking. I slip the opening over my dick and balls leaving about a
foot of stocking hanging. I then wrap the remaining stocking around the
base of my dick and balls "cinching" it in place and simply loop the end
under the last wrap so that there is little or nothing left "hanging".
Now, my equipment is more "contained" and I can then tuck and better retain
it back between my legs when I pull on my panties. Oh, I love caressing my
equipment, or having it caressed, while tucked under my panties and secured
between my legs. A little imagination and one would think I have a
clitoris and a large mons pubis! Do be careful not to wrap the stocking
too tight as it can become uncomfortable. The retainer stocking can be
easily pulled off to pee or adjusted for comfort. I've found them to be so
comfortable that I sometimes forget that I'm wearing one when I pee! But
knee highs are relatively inexpensive and easily disposable if you have an
"accident". I carry an extra one in my purse just in case.
Corsets: Unless you are somehow blessed with a classic female "hour-glass"
figure, you will want to at least consider a corset. I'm trim, under 150
pounds, measure about 39 inches (at the nipples), 29 inches at the waist
(slimming down to about 28 inches with a tight skirt and belt) and 36
inches at the hips. But, try as I might, I simply would not look good in
just panties and a bra. Oh, but that's ok as I love wearing a corset! A
corset is a very big step in my transformation process as it shapes my
mid-section and provides a lovely transition from panties below to my bra
above. I find it very essential and so exclusively feminine. For some, it
is symbolic of being submissive. For others into the "dominatrix" role, it
can have a very different meaning. Either way, it is second only to
panties as a favorite item to wear. Corsets can be expensive! As such, my
first corset would be basic black.
In selecting a corset, simply "google" the word and an amazing selection
will appear. They come in all kinds of styles. As a "girl" on both a time
and cash budget, I prefer something that is comfortable, relatively
inexpensive, and easy to put on. I narrowed my selection down to a style
that attaches in front with both hook and eye and zipper. I can easily put
mine on in seconds with just one hook and eye and then use the zipper. Be
aware that buying one that hooks in the back will be very difficult and
time consuming unless you have some help. Also, I avoid the ones that use
ribbon or string to cinch up as it will likely be noticeable under a nicely
tailored blouse or dress. You will want one with sufficient "boning" (thin
narrow steel bands sewn into the garment) to shape you. You will also want
one that "breathes". So, pick one with a nice combination of lace and
heavy nylon fabric. Leather corsets look nice and sexy. However, I
suspect they would get hot and sticky underneath. My corset of choice is
the "Carnival" brand and I love the fit, feel, look and cost! Given that
I'm about 39 inches at the nipples, a 38C size fits perfectly. The cost is
very reasonable for such a lovely garment. Plan on about $70.
Over the past few years, I've come to enjoy my ("A-cup") breasts and
nipples much more and regret not "releasing" them for play much earlier in
life! With lots of attention these days, my nipples have grown in size and
sensitivity. I just love having them pinched and nibbled by my daddy! So,
I like inviting them out to play whether with him or just by myself. My
"Carnival" corset came with "C" cups. So, out comes my sewing kit! I
remove the cups leaving enough fabric to tuck and sew behind the underwire
under each breast. I can also snip the underwire at the top of the corset
(where the zipper ends) so that it will "blend" in with my bra. What is
left is a lovely corset that exposes and frames my breasts very nicely! As
you know by now, I love decorating with lace. Since the "Carnival" type
doesn't have lace trim along the bottom, I add lace that is about 2 inches
wide all around accentuates my bottom very nicely!
Bras and falsies: Rounding out our basic undergarments, is bra selection.
Complementing my black corset, I prefer a black, lacy, 38-C bra that hooks
in back with some padding and full cups so that my falsies are hidden.
Again, being 39 inches at the nipples, C-cup breasts seem the right breast
size for me. I much prefer the type with shoulder straps attached to the
side of each cup rather than attached to the top of the cup. This might be
termed the "decollete" style that I think looks so sexy! The "Smart &
Sexy" brand at Wal-Mart looks beautiful and surprisingly not expensive.
For about $12, I bought a pretty black one with a rather decorative pink
one thrown in! Two for the price of one!
However, I'm not quite done as I want to add some inserts inside each cup
to hide my falsies. I love having the top buttons of my blouse unbuttoned
so that I can show off my "bosom" confined inside my bra. Of course, my
real breasts are A-cup. So, I need to complement what nature gave me with
some falsies. However, I don't want anyone to see the falsies. Rather, I
would like having my real breasts "blend" into the bra. For me, the
perfect inserts are nylon cups removed from an older bra and sewn along the
top of the cups of my new bra whereby falsies can be inserted from
underneath and between the "old" and new cups. I can then add a little
lace trim along the seam between old and new cups for a little sexy
decoration! Rather than "waste" a new bra for inserts, I'll go to a thrift
shop and for just a few dollars, I'll find a 36-C or a 38-C bra without any
lace or padding and just basic nylon fabric cups.
As far as size and expense, falsies are up to you! There are the very
expensive kind in catalogs that will very nearly "behave" like real
breasts. I've also heard of liquid filled balloons or even bird seed
filled bags. The general idea of liquids or bird seed is that one achieves
about the right weight of a real breast with that sexy "jiggle" when in
motion. Personally, I can't afford the catalog variety. I'm also
concerned about liquid or seed filled falsies in that they might puncture,
particularly if they are packed away for extended periods of time. As for
me, I'm very comfortable with stuffing a pair of knee-highs (yes, the same
cheap ones referenced above) with fiber-fill material found in pillows.
They are virtually weightless. So, I don't get the "jiggle" benefit.
However, I can make them as big or as small as I want (within the confines
of a C-cup). They conform well to the bra cup (and inside the inserts I've
sewn), maintain the same dimension thereafter and they're cheap to make!
Hosiery is so much fun to put on and wear! Most of us remember the scene
from "The Graduate" where Mrs. Robinson is putting on her sheer, beige
hose! I think hosiery is an essential part of cross-dressing and I just
don't feel quite dressed up without it. We all have our favorite colors
and styles. Oh, I fondly remember the days when I could shave my legs
smooth and get a nice tan in the back yard! Now, I have family that will
notice shaved legs. So, I trim my leg hair as close as I dare. But, even
closely trimmed legs will still look awful in sheer stockings.
Fortunately, I found that fish-nets, with a small mesh, disguise short leg
hair beautifully! So, fish-nets are both very sexy and solve the leg hair
problem when I really can't shave my legs! And, yes, black is my color of
choice.
As far as hosiery style, I prefer thigh tops for a variety of reasons.
They go all the way up to just below my panties, covering my legs
perfectly. I prefer them over panty hose as I don't like the hassle of
pulling pantyhose down to pee (or for sex) and then having to pull them
back up. Also, if you have a "run" in pantyhose, the whole pair would be
discarded. With thigh tops, just the stocking with the run can be
discarded. The surviving stocking can be paired up with another stocking.
Over time, this saves a little money. Finally, thigh tops go well with
garter belts! Of course, thigh tops come with their own elastic and
require no garters to stay up. Wal-Mart carries a brand called "Secret
Treasures" that are inexpensive and well-made lasting several outings.
I've found that while the stocking fish-net mesh may still be in good
shape, the elastic banding holding it up can wear out. You can still save
these for your garter belt. New fish-nets work great without garters. Oh,
but if I have more time, a garter belt is an extra, very sexy addition!
Garter belts also come in many styles and brands. So, I won't go into too
much detail. While my corset offers (detachable) garters, I prefer a
separate garter belt that fits easily under my corset at my waist. If you
are on a budget, a small bra with small cups can be purchased for a few
dollars at a thrift shop and can be easily modified into a garter belt. If
I wear it under my corset, no one would know or could tell the
difference. Whether you buy one from a department store, sex shop or make
your own, I highly recommend metal garter "loops" as they hold up much
better and are much easier to fasten as plastic "loops" tend to bend making
it difficult to "garter" the stocking. Again, my corset came with garters
making the bra option even more attractive and cost effective. It is up to
you whether you want to have the garters running inside or outside your
panties. I prefer having the garters outside my panties. This makes it a
little more difficult to pull the panties down to pee or for sex. However,
I find that the "look" makes it worth it!
Bed jackets and Negligees. When I'm getting comfortable with my daddy or
simply bedding down for the night on my own, I love changing out of my
blouse, skirt and bra and slipping on my bed jacket or negligee. Of
course, everything else stays on or, comes off as circumstances suggest.
Pretty bed jackets or negligees come in a wide variety of styles and
colors. Since my "base" color is black, I opt for a red, pink, prints or
another sexy pastel. Robes may cover down to mid-thigh or longer. I can
shorten the robe to just cover my derriere. Most come with a tie-string
just inside the robe and also a belt made of the same fabric. Together,
the tie-string and belt keep me nicely cinched at the waist. I look for
negligees and robes with long sleeves that help disguise my rather
masculine arms. Oh, but you will know what you like so go for it! I love
going to sleep and waking up in the morning still wearing a bed jacket or
negligee, panties, corset, scarf, wig and hosiery. One never knows what
might happen in the morning! Either way, I sleep like a baby! I love
shopping at thrift stores for a lot of my apparel. While sexy negligees
and robes seem to get snatched up quickly at thrift stores, I've had some
very good success finding something of quality and in my size. Department
stores and sex shops will also have "bargain racks".
Care: Before we leave undies, a few notes on care would be in order.
Personally, I hate having my delicates abused in washing machines and
dryers. Over time, the fabric, and the lacy accessories that I added, can
show wear and fade from heavy washing. I much prefer to hand wash my
undies in warm or hot water, rinse them in cold water, pad them with towels
to absorb some of the moisture and then hang to dry. I have to be careful
where I hang them at home and usually hide them in my closet behind other
clothes or in the attic. Laundry soap or dish soap will work well. When
not in use, I store my undies in zip lock bags. To keep them smelling
wonderful, I'll add 1 or 2 dryer sheets and then zip them tight. I have
separate zip lock bags for my panties, retainers, hosiery, garter belt
(with older thigh-tops) and scarves. I hang my bras, corsets and bed
clothes on clothes hangers to keep them fresh.
Our Fourth Session: Wigs & Wardrobe!
Wigs are another one of those items that are such a personal choice that I
dare not infuse my preferences. Only you know what you like and look good
wearing. So, I'll just lightly touch on certain aspects that work for me
and maybe these tips on wigs will be helpful to you!
Human v synthetic and cost. There can be a significant difference in cost
between human hair and synthetic wigs. Since I'm on a budget, I choose
synthetic wigs which are available in most large and reputable beauty
supply or wig stores. Prices may vary, but I wouldn't spend more than $100
for a nice, long, thick and curly wig. Beware of the cheap costume wigs as
they usually don't last long.
Care. Always store the wig on a wig stand or hang it on a coat hanger
allowing the hair to hang free. If you can afford it, have the wig
professionally cleaned and set from time to time. In between cleanings, I
lightly spray mine with "Febreze" to keep it smelling nice. If you
purchased it from a wig store, they may clean it for a reasonable fee.
Before each wearing, comb the wig with a very wide tooth comb. I've been
told by various sales people that over time hair brushes can ruin a wig.
Color and length. Of course, this is entirely up to you! I love Marie
Osmond and how she wears her relatively long hair. And, I have rather
broad shoulders. So, a dark, long wig with lots of curls and "body" that
reaches up to half way down my back disguises my shoulders and makes me
feel so sexy!
Styling. I like the hair around my face to be slightly shorter than the
back but still long enough to clip to one side by using just one long bobby
pin. My eyes are rather close set. So, I want to wear my hair in such a
way that pulls away from my eyes and broadens my face at eye level. Hair
that is pinned behind my left ear (and about eye level) tends to broaden my
face in just the right way. I leave the right side free that I think gives
me a sexy and carefree look.
As with wigs, your Wardrobe should be based on your own personal style. I
have my own thoughts about what looks good on me and respect your own
thoughts. What follows are my comments on current fashion, thrift stores
(where to shop), finding the right size, color and fabric, dresses, bottoms
(skirts, shorts and slacks) tops (blouses, sweaters and blazers) and
finally, alterations and care.
Current fashion. I love and admire a woman's hour-glass figure. So, I
make every attempt to accentuate a slim waist, nice looking legs, cute ass
and boobs appropriately sized for my rather larger upper body. As such, I
like short skirts that fasten tightly at the waist and hug my ass. I also
like having my blouses crisply tailored to accentuate my boobs and hug my
tummy down to my waist and tucked inside my skirt. Trying to achieve that
hour-glass figure has been frustrated by the current fashion trend. It
seems that some years ago a group of silly fashion designers decided that
women's skirts and slacks should fit at the hips, not the waist.
Unfortunately, many women do not look good with skirts or slacks that fit
at the hips. It detracts from what I consider to be a sexy, slim waist.
Only a very slim and well-toned woman can look good wearing clothing that
fastens at the hips. The rest of them are left with "muffin tops" above
the belt!
Another consequence of this ridiculous "design culture" is that women's
clothing sizes are even more confusing, especially for a male trying to fit
into a size 8 (for instance) that doesn't fasten at the waist but at the
hips! Furthermore, it seems that clothing manufacturers have a different
idea as to what "size 8" might really means and seems to vary from country
to country. Given the expense of women's apparel (and the awkwardness for
a male attempting to find garments that fit) finding the right "fit" can be
doubly difficult. Ok, I'll get off my soap box! It's just that finding
garments is more frustrating than it used to be (or has to be) with today's
fashions!
Thrift stores are far and away my favorite place to shop for women's
clothing for a various reasons. The primary one for me is cost. Most
garments will be marked at a fraction of the cost of what you would find at
a department store. Secondly, most of the larger thrift shops will have a
fairly large selection of women's clothing and the better ones will have
the clothing organized by size or perhaps color. Third, thrift shops offer
a little more anonymity. Someone that is anatomically male and dressed as
a male (most of the time) may feel a bit awkward shopping for a woman's
skirt at the mall. However, at a thrift store, I feel much more
comfortable. If I find something that I like and might fit, no sales
person is going to ask me if I want to try it on. Most have fitting rooms
for a quick check. Finally, while thrift stores might have a lot of junk,
much of what you will be sorting through might be very good quality.
Finding the right size can be a problem for many of us. To find my size, I
googled "women's sizes" and found several to choose from. By knowing my
bust, waist and hips in inches, I can then plot them on the size chart for
the appropriate women's size. From my section on undies, I noted that my
bust is about 39-40" (at the nipples), my waist is about 29" (about 28"
with a little work) and 36" at the hips. According to the size chart, I'm
a size 8 based on my hips and waist. However, I range up to about a size
12 or 14 based on my bust size (and that doesn't include the C-cups!). As
such, I search for size 8 skirts but a size 12 or 14 blazer. When dressed
up, I feel that my larger upper body "smooths" out ok with my relatively
slim lower body such that I look pretty good with color coordinated bottoms
and tops, or a sexy blazer barely covering my bra and corset.
Color and fabric selection is another very individual choice. However,
since everything goes well with black, I start with a basic black skirt and
build from there by adding various blouses and sweaters with a variety of
colors. Generally, colors will be seasonal with bright, vibrant colors in
the spring and summer with more subdued colors such as blacks, grays or
earth tones in the fall and winter. However, for me, that isn't always the
case. Brighten up someone's day by wearing a pretty floral skirt or a
bright pastel blouse or sweater when going out in the dead of winter.
You'll feel like a spring bouquet and will be very much appreciated! As
far as fabrics, I like a sturdy cotton in a blouse, a nice natural
wool/nylon blend in a skirt or blazer, and certainly a snug fitting wool or
nylon blend sweater for winter wear. I avoid nylon fabric for skirts or
blazers as it tends to snag and can look "cheap". For outer wear, natural
fiber or blends just look and wear much better than pure nylon or rayon
fabrics.
Dresses. Dress sizes are a bit of a challenge as they would ordinarily
come as one size for a woman with a fairly consistent body type. So, with
my size 12 to 14 at the top and 8 at the waist, a dress would fit rather
loose at my waist and hips and not the sexy tailored look I crave.
However, I love dresses with a "clingy" fabric that conforms to my body
type. Also, some dresses come in a style that wraps at the waist with a
matching fabric belt that ties in a bow. Done just right, it looks lovely
and is very easy to put on. Oh, I love the challenge of a zipper running
from my ass to my neck. However, with limited time to dress, I prefer the
ease of tops and bottoms or the wrap style dress. One guy wanted me to get
a wedding dress! That would have been a challenge. But, I liked where he
was going with the idea!
The main reason I prefer top and bottom garments over dresses is that the
more tops or bottoms I add, the more combinations (or combos) are possible.
With a dress, there's only one combo, the dress itself. However, with a
basic black skirt and maybe three blouses of various pastels, there are 3
combos with each blouse and one skirt. Add a floral skirt with pretty
pastels matching blouse colors and now there are six combos. Simply put,
one can then wear up to six different outfits without repeating. With some
care given to color coordination, the combinations can increase accordingly
and can be achieved in a few weeks even on a frugal budget.
Bottoms (skirts, slacks and shorts) are fun to shop for if you remember
that some if not most designs these days will button at the hip, not the
waist. Personally, I'm looking for bottoms that will button at my waist to
get closer to that "hour-glass" figure. Generally, garments that button at
the hip can be identified with a zipper that is very short, perhaps 4-5
inches long. Whereas, if a garment fits at the waist, the zipper will be
much longer, perhaps 7-8 inches long. Another way to spot a "hip-hugger"
is the size itself. In my case, a size 8 should look like a size 8. If it
looks much wider where it buttons than what you would normally expect the
size to be, it most likely buttons at the hip.
When I want to try something on and feel a bit awkward carrying an
obviously feminine garment into the dressing room, I will pass through the
men's section and grab a pair of slacks. Another approach in determining
if something will fit is to bring a garment tape measure. By knowing your
waist size (mine being about 29 inches), I can simply measure the garment I
want along the front. If it says "size 8" and measure 14.5 inches across
the front, then there is a pretty good chance it will fit me. Bringing a
short tape measure can work too! If in doubt, I will still try it on in
the dressing room as I find that activity fun! There are times when I
leave with something that I thought would surely fit but didn't. However,
given that thrift store garments are so inexpensive, I mark it up to
experience and shop a little smarter the next time. Don't expect refunds
at thrifts!
Women's jeans and slacks have less interest for me as I'm wearing slacks
and jeans as a male. However, a nice looking pair of jeans or slacks that
fit nicely around my ass can look and feel very sexy. Be careful to get
the right length. The pant length should reach your heel. Pleated slacks
look much more stylish and do a better job of disguising that certain
"package" between your legs. For the same reason, I pick pleated shorts.
(For shorts, I would obviously wear panty-hose rather than thigh
tops. Pantyhose can also add a little more support for "the" package).
When it comes to Tops (blouses) I take a different approach. I don't take
the time searching for an actual woman's blouse as there may be hundreds to
choose from and finding a large, or size 12 or 14 blouse might be even more
difficult. So, I take a short cut by using my own shirts and "convert"
them to blouses. I know my shirt size (15.5 neck and 32-33 sleeve) and
there are lots of men's shirts in prints and pastels that could otherwise
be thought of as feminine. Furthermore, there is nothing awkward about a
male purchasing an ordinary shirt! Yes, the buttons may be on the wrong
side. But, that's a small issue for me when I have a vast array of shirts
to choose from. Be sure to check for stains and signs of wear and tear and
missing buttons. Otherwise, shirts are an easy purchase!
Sweaters are a different matter. I like the kind that fit very snugly and
zip in the front all the way down. I avoid pullover sweaters as they can
muss make-up, snag earrings and ruffle my wig when I pull it over my head.
Button down sweaters may have lots and lots of buttons and, being a girl on
a time budget, a zipper is easy. But, the fit has to be nice and snug
against my tummy and breasts. So, I look for a medium size and check to be
sure the sleeves are long enough to reach past my wrists. Thrift stores
may have hundreds of sweaters to choose from. So, I take my time sifting
through them for the right color and fit. If I'm not sure, I'll try them
on in the dressing room.
I love blazers especially those that fit tight at the waist and half way
down my ass, ~ like a woman's riding jacket. Whether for day or evening
wear there is something sexy about a form fitting blazer over a short,
tight skirt. With a stylish lacy bra and corset, I don't wear a blouse
under my blazer. I keep the one or two buttons on the blazer buttoned and
enjoy that sexy feeling when the lacy top of my bra shows! For me, I like
a nice gray, wool blend blazer in the size 12 - 14 range. I'll need to be
sure the sleeves are long enough to reach well past my wrists (or, I can
add lacy cuffs to extend the length). Gray over black may seem rather
drab. However, it can be brightened up with a colorful scarf, blouse (if I
choose to wear one) or pretty bra (if I don't wear a blouse).
You will likely need some alterations in order to get just the right fit
with the wardrobe you've assembled! Find a tailor that you are comfortable
with. I've used the same one for years. He may suspect but never asks!
Anyway, here are some notes on tailoring.
As they say, skirts are like a speech, long enough to cover the subject but
short enough to make it interesting. I do like the way my legs look and
like to show them off. So, I love very short skirts! I'm reasonably adept
at hemming my own skirts before I take them to the tailor. If you are any
good at needle and thread, you will save a little money if you do your own
hemming. You just need to be able to measure well and place the pins
accurately and you will be a professional in no time. Once you have the
desired length, the skirt might fit just fine as is. Or, if you are like
me, you might want it tucked in just under your derriere to accentuate it a
little more. Place the pins as needed where you want it tucked in along
the seams on each side of the skirt making sure that you have a little
"wiggle" room. Use enough pins so that your tailor will be able to
determine what to take in and how much.
For blouses, I'm starting with a male dress shirt that already fits me
pretty well. However, to make it look more like a blouse, I carefully
remove the shirt pocket that most male shirts have attached over the left
breast. To do this, I use a modeling scalpel, carefully "nicking" the
thread attaching the pocket to the shirt from the outside of the pocket.
In so doing, I'm avoiding cutting into the fabric of the shirt. Once a few
threads have been "nicked", the pocket should begin to pull away from the
shirt making it easier and easier to cut the attaching thread. Once
removed, I smooth it out by ironing the place where the pocket was
attached. Over time, there will be no sign that a pocket was ever there.
Next, with my corset and bra on underneath, I put on the shirt and button
it. I then "pinch" it at the waist and mark it with a pin on the outside.
For me, this may be as much as 2 inches on each side. I then remove the
shirt turn it inside out and re-pin the same distance at the same location
such that the pins are now inside the shirt and along the seam. I then pin
in a straight line from the armpit to the pin I marked at the waist and
then another straight line from the waist to the bottom of the shirt
angling the pin line so that the last pin is back to the seam. In such a
way, I've created a bit of an "hour-glass" with the shirt. I try the shirt
back on and adjust as necessary taking care to have a little wiggle room at
the waist and that I can button the shirt over my bra. What I like to
achieve is a nice, crisp tailored fit with the shirt relaxed at the hips,
tight at the waist and snug but not too tight along my bust. Once back
from the tailor, I then consider the shirt to be officially a blouse and a
proud addition to my wardrobe!
Alterations can be a little expensive but still much less than buying new,
ready to wear garments off the rack that might need tailoring anyway. For
a blouse, it might cost $10-$15 to get it tailored just right. Skirts or
blazers will cost more. But achieving the right fit is well worth the
investment! Given the expense, do be sure you've pinned what you want
taken in as best you can and have wiggle room!
Proper care. I'm very proud of my wardrobe and like keeping garments clean
and ironed. I don't dress much anymore so keeping garments clean is not
much of a challenge. I use a dry cleaner for all my garments, and to keep
cost down, only when necessary. Otherwise, with a little touch up ironing
and choosing good natural or natural/man-made fiber blend fabrics, your
garments should last for years. Storing them in plastic (from the
dry-cleaner) will only help keep them fresh with less ironing.
Our Fifth Session: Accessories!
I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the flashiest when it comes to
cross-dressing. While I don't want to "blend in" with the background, I
don't want to look outrageous either. My wardrobe style may be a little
outdated. However, I've received enough compliments from men, women and
other cross-dressers over the years to feel comfortable with my "style".
Just recently at a local bar, an adorable "silver daddy" told me my
accessories were very stylish and appropriate for a woman. I loved that he
didn't choose "tranny"! At a club in Dallas, some years ago, a man came up
to me and told me that, until I came, in he was the prettiest one there! I
never know for sure what kind of comments I'll receive. But, they've all
been very supportive!
In the final analysis, what someone finds attractive another may see
repulsive and, as the old saying goes, one (wo)man's trash is another
(wo)man's treasure. Anyway, I divided accessories up into six categories:
heels, belts and purses, scarves, jewelry, and accents. Again, I approach
shopping from the perspective of being inexpensive (but not always
"cheap"), durable, flexible and not requiring a lot of time to put on.
Yes, as you know by now, I'm a girl on budget, a budget involving both time
and money.
I'm old fashioned enough to believe that heels, belts and purses should
match in both color and material. So, I'll comment about these as one
group. And, you guessed it! I go with black, and flat black as all three
items are easy to find in that color. I find that "glossy" black scuffs
more easily. However, if you like glossy, go for it! However, flat black
goes with most everything, hides scuffs pretty well and the selection broad
enough to find something sexy yet comfortable.
Sexy heels are an absolute must! While we all would love those 5-plus inch
heels that accentuate our legs so nicely there is a trade-off between
looking sexy and being comfortable. I love practicing my sexy walk and
enjoy the whistles! However, it is hard to have a sexy walk when one's
feet are aching! I prefer pumps with 3-4" heels. A 4-inch heel gets me
just over 6 feet tall and might make me too tall for some guys. But, some
guys don't care once I'm "horizontal" or on my knees! Pumps are
inexpensive and wear well. Oh, but I do love shoes with ankle straps
giving the slightest suggestion of "bondage". For me, the more
"sophisticated" the shoe, the more it will likely show signs of wear, the
less comfortable it might be and the longer it might take to put on. Boots
are very sexy but can be expensive. While stylish, they will be very hot
to wear during the summer. So, for ease of fit, comfort and availability,
pumps are a safe bet! I wear a size 11 shoe. While I'm blessed with
relatively narrow feet, size 11s can be on the more extreme end of
selection in most shoe stores. While thrift stores might have my size, I
prefer buying new. Discount shoe stores offer the best selection in my
size and I would plan on spending $30 or more. I've found that the "big
box" stores are somewhat limited in my size. But, for those of you with
"daintier" feet, they may have something sexy for you!
Belts serve two purposes for me. First, a tight belt cinches my waist
getting me closer to that 28 to 29-inch waist! For this purpose, I like a
belt of around 2-inches in width. However, I have to be careful that a
belt that wide will still fit through the belt loops on my
skirts. (Cinching with a narrow belt can be a little more uncomfortable.)
The second purpose is to provide a nice accent. I like a nice flat black
belt with a pretty, decorative belt buckle. I have a favorite with a
pewter colored star design that I wear almost all the time when I'm wearing
a blouse tucked inside my skirt. I make sure that I can adjust the belt as
tight as I can cinching me toward that "hour-glass" figure. But, if I find
it is too tight, I can always back off a notch or two. When I wear
sweaters over my skirts, I don't want a large, decorative belt-buckle
"bulge" under the sweater. So, with sweaters, I wear a belt with the same
width but a very plain, basic belt buckle. Again, I want a belt about
2-inches wide. Thrift stores have been a good source for quality belts and
I can find a nice variety. But, I'm careful to look for signs of wear and
prefer solid leather or simulated leather types that wear well.
There are at least three types of purses that I'm aware of: The "clutch"
type with no straps, ones with medium straps for carrying by hand and ones
with long straps for wearing around the shoulders. I prefer small purses.
They seem more streamlined while "big" purses tend to suggest "big" women.
Small purses with a zipper or "snap" compartments are easy to organize. I
keep my make-up (lipstick, gloss and compact) in one compartment, my phone,
keys and money in another and my sunglasses, pen, small note pad (in case a
guy wants to exchange phone numbers) in still another. I also find room
for an extra "retainer" and an extra thigh top stocking in case of a snag
or run. Just like most women I know, I'm constantly digging in my purse
for something. So, a small efficient purse makes finding things much
easier. While I tend to "clutch" my purse when browsing and walking, I
like the type with narrow shoulder straps. And, yes, a flat black purse
with a little gold or silver accent goes well with a flat black belts and
shoes. Thrift stores generally have a good selection of quality purses and
sometimes they will be hanging right next to the belts. So, while choosing
a belt, you can find a purse at the same time!
I love wearing scarves as they give me a sense of feminine submission. Of
course, scarves serve a very practical purpose in disguising my larynx or
"Adam's Apple" ~ that rather profound protrusion in our throats that we
have and women don't. I have a rather large selection of scarves most
measuring about 20-24 inches by about 9 inches that easily tie around my
neck with the knot to the side. Many can be very long but can easily be
tailored to a shorter length. I'm also look for a thin, silk or nylon
material that doesn't make my neck look too big. I have a 15.5 inch neck.
So, I want it to look as slender as possible. A pretty scarf, blending
into a thick, long, wavy wig and above a blouse unbuttoned at just the
right place can be very sexy!
I select a scarf that complements my blouse and skirt. As a rule, if I'm
wearing a blouse with one color, I'll pick a scarf with a print design with
various colors but with one that blends or matches the blouse. If my
blouse has a print design, then I'll choose a scarf with just one color but
matches one of the colors in the blouse. Or, if I'm wearing a black or
charcoal gray skirt, the scarf would be matched to my blouse. However, if
I'm wearing a light summery print skirt, then I would wear a blouse with
one color or pastel matching one of the colors in my skirt and a scarf with
various colors but with at least one color that matches one color in my
skirt. Thus, a simple rule for me is: "plain blouse or skirt, busy scarf,
busy blouse or skirt, plain scarf". I suppose I could simply call all of
this "color coordination"! Oh, and when I can, I also like to wear a scarf
that matches the color of the panties I'll be wearing. When I'm relaxed,
partially undressed, hopefully with a man, I still want to be "color
coordinated!" Scarves are both very inexpensive with a good selection at
most thrift stores. Oh, and I don't wear necklaces as they interfere or
conflict with scarves.
Like other feminine attire, jewelry selection should be based on our own
individual tastes and helps make us very unique and attractive. My
comments will concentrate on rings, earrings and bracelets. I like having
a selection of rings to complement or hide my "male" rings. Rather than
remove my male rings, I simply wear feminine rings around them. This saves
time in removing (and possibly losing) my male rings which would certainly
raise unwanted questions at home. I have rather large fingers which limit
ring selection. For a girl on a budget, some "costume" jewelry can look
very nice and there can be higher quality rings at some of the better
thrift stores. I avoid really large rings with lots of stones or
decorations that can get caught in my wig or snag my fish-nets. Otherwise,
the smaller your fingers, the better chance you will have in finding
attractive and hopefully inexpensive rings.
Now, for earrings. Ok, readers, you may disown me for writing this. But,
I must report that I've never had my ears pierced! Yes, I should be
banished from the tranny world as most, if not all trannies surely have
their ears pierced as soon as they can. I simply don't like the idea of
having anything "pierced" and I guess that makes me a true sissy. For
those of you brave enough to have your ears pierced, there is no end to the
earring selection. For those few of you that might be like me, clip-ons do
exist and you can find them in most department stores, "big box" stores or,
you guessed it, thrift stores. Frankly, I enjoy shopping for them and have
built a pretty nice selection over time. I suggest ones that are all metal
whether they be gold or silver in color. Metal clip-ons tend to stay put
and not fall off at the most inopportune time, such as into my drink at a
bar! Plastic earrings, with a metal clip glued on, don't seem to hold on
very well. If clip-ons feel tight and uncomfortable, the clips can be
adjusted with just a slight pull. If too loose, the clips can be squeezed
to get the tighter fit. I also avoid the "dangly" types as they seem to
almost instantly get tangled in my wig.
I do love bracelets and the big box stores have lots of attractive
"elastic" types with pretty beads with all sorts of colors and varieties.
Lots of bracelets make me feel very feminine and offer a pretty transition
from a long sleeved blouse to a graceful (if not totally feminine) hand.
Again, I avoid ones that might have too many ornaments that might snag my
wig or my fish-nets. Oh, but 3, 4 or more bracelets on each wrist can be
fun to wear! I mix and match what I like. But, for me, the more bracelets
the better. A key part of my bracelet collection is my watch. I like
wearing a very feminine watch with a narrow, black leather strap. It is
one more little thing that makes me feel like a lady!
Finally, I like to wear a little accent item, something that I can pin or
fasten on my blouse, blazer or sweater above my left breast. Accents can
be very simple but fun to wear with the anticipation that they might
attract attention and be an ice-breaker when meeting new people, especially
men! Wearing an accent has the connotation that I'm friendly and
approachable. Depending on the calendar and when I can dress up for an
outing, the accent I pick might represent a coming holiday or a special
occasion. I've built up a collection of accents for Christmas, New Years,
Valentine's Day (my favorite), Saint Patrick's Day (hoping I'll get
pinched), Easter, the 4th of July, Halloween (add a plastic spider ring)
and Thanksgiving. Otherwise, for non-special occasions, I'll just wear
something that might spark an interest. Of course, anything with the
"rainbow" would be well received!
Our Sixth Session: Cleansing for Sex
Up front notes:
• First, and quite bluntly, this segment deals with the
cleansing of the colon and rectum for safe, reliable anal sex. If you
don't submit to anal sex or if you're not the least bit curious about the
process of cleansing, I would suggest that you skip this section. However,
if you engage in anal sex as a bottom, top or both, my experiences and
technique may be of some help. I would love comments, questions and
experiences from readers!
• Second, and quite appropriately, this segment should be
reviewed by a trusted doctor or physician's assistant. And, by all means
please do your own research! Cleansing may cause some discomfort but
shouldn't cause acute pain. Please, know what you are doing and proceed
very carefully. Stay with what works for you and your partner.
• Finally, for those of us who submit to and very much enjoy
anal sex, remember that you'll want a healthy colon, rectum and sphincter
in your later years. As such, I would encourage you to avoid large toys
and fisting. Your "exhaust system" can only expand so far. As such, the
use of large toys or submitting to fisting could lead to incontinence.
I'm very particular about cleanliness and, after years of anal sex with
many men, I take pride in that I've only had a few "uh oh" moments. One
time, a man more or less forced himself on me not leaving me time to
cleanse or even check. The second time, a man used a dildo on me first and
thank goodness! Fortunately, neither "event" resulted in a mess. The
first man satisfied his urge and I was left to clean up and leave. The
second man allowed me to cleanse again and we wound up having some
enjoyable sex. So, over the years, I've improved my cleansing techniques
with dildos first and then with men.
These days I personally enjoy cleansing. As I cleanse, I'm thinking about
all the fun I'm going to have with a special man, one (or more) of my toys
or perhaps both a man and my toys! Thinking about why I'm cleansing makes
the process that much more tolerable and fun, yes, fun! I hope I can
impart some useful information that might avoid embarrassment for you. For
this segment, I'm going to discuss various topics beginning with diet,
basic anatomy, when and where, types of cleansing, tools, water mixtures,
and some closing notes that you might consider for thorough and satisfying
results. Oh, and while I'm hardly "Miss Manners", I chose the word feces
(or fecal material) instead of the word "shit" thinking it a more
acceptable term for this segment.
Diet. When researching dieting for anal sex you will find a plethora of
information including laxatives, total fasting and stringent dieting to
help control what your digestive system will be delivering to the toilet.
While I like to be supple and trim, I do like to eat and don't like
sacrificing one pleasure ~ food for another pleasure ~ sex. We all like
both! I don't eat to excess and try to maintain a regular (some would say
boring) diet. I'm not going to coach you, the reader, on using laxatives,
fasting or what to eat or not to eat as part of your ongoing diet and prior
to cleansing for sex. However, keep in mind that the entire digestion
process takes about 16 or so hours. So, what you eat today, may very
likely reach the toilet sometime tomorrow or the next day. It helps if you
already have or can otherwise achieve regular bowel movements as you can
anticipate when you will be "naturally" clean. But, here are a few notes.
Experience has taught me to schedule my sexual activities a day or two in
advance such that I can monitor my food intake and plan for cleansing. An
understanding man will schedule accordingly and balance his sexual urges
with your desire to be nice and clean for him. The anticipation of sex is
very exciting to me and motivates me to watch what I eat and engage in a
thorough cleansing process! I will usually notify my partner what days I
plan to be "in bloom" allowing him to plan as well!
With the advance "notice" established, I will have a day or two to lighten
up on what I'll be eating. I will focus on foods that will be enjoyable but
easy to eliminate during cleansing. At least one source recommends a slow
moving low fiber diet the day before that might consist of chicken breast,
yogurt, eggs, cheese, tomatoes, shrimp and lean beef. Conversely, you
might avoid berries, beans, nuts and seeds, apples, bananas and grains.
And, for a good cleansing experience, I will avoid really spicy meals the
day before. Heavy Italian and Mexican dishes come to mind. Do drink
water! It is good for your body and helps with digestion and the formation
of feces. And, yes, exercise regularly. Exercise helps with all bodily
functions especially digestion.
Anatomy. Many of us might have a pretty clear understanding or our
digestive tract. But, for some of us, a very basic "tour" might be helpful
in understanding how the cleansing process works inside of us. As food
passes from our stomach to our intestines, about 25 feet in length, water
and nutrients we need for nourishing our bodies are extracted leaving
what's left to pass into our colon. The colon consists of four segments,
the ascending colon (connected to the intestines and rising on the lower
right hand side of our body), the transverse colon (passing from the right
side to the left side of our body), the descending colon (dropping from the
transverse colon down the left side of our body) and the sigmoid colon
(that passes fecal material into the rectum). The sigmoid colon connection
to the rectum takes a rather narrow and sharp turn into the rectum. This
connection acts as a valve allowing the passage of feces out but is rather
"reluctant" to accept anything (like enema water) back into the colon.
This can be a source of discomfort when doing an enema. The best approach
is to relax and insert initial water slowly until it is accepted into the
sigmoid colon (and the discomfort will go away).
The colon removes water and forms feces (what is basically indigestible at
this stage) passing the feces on into the rectum. Nerves in our rectum
create the urge to use the toilet. (These are the same nerves that make
anal sex so enjoyable!) The rectum is ordinarily empty until the next
"delivery" of feces from the colon. In some respects, the rectum is like a
vagina. At about 6 to 8 inches in length, it is suitable for sex. Aside
from those delightful nerve endings in the rectum, a great deal of
stimulation is derived from the entry of the penis or dildo through the
sphincter ~ the tight, muscular entrance to the anus or anal canal and into
the rectum. Oh, and another source of pleasure for a male "bottom" partner
can derived deeper into the rectum when the penis or dildo rubs or caresses
the prostate that is positioned next to the rectum. All of this pleasure
makes me a very willing bottom partner!
When and Where. For an effective cleansing, allow yourself plenty of time.
Cleansing is something that you don't want to rush through and you don't
want to keep him waiting. So, if I know I'm going to have sex during lunch
or early afternoon, I might cleanse early to mid-morning. Again, it is
best to be relaxed! When possible, allow time between the enema and sex.
This allows your body to produce more mucous lubrication which occurs
naturally and helps pass feces slide through to the toilet. Oh, but it
also acts as a very important lubricant for anal sex! The act of cleansing
flushes this lubrication out. So, it's a good idea to allow your digestive
system to produce some more. After a thorough cleansing, you may
experience having some of this natural lubricant come out during sex.
Don't worry, it should be generally clear, tasteless and odorless.
Where to cleanse is pretty easy to figure out! You'll want access to a
restroom or bath. Specifically, you want a toilet near a water faucet
(sink or tub) within easy reach. You will want warm and cold water to
achieve a mix near body temperature. Temperature extremes can be very
uncomfortable. So, find the right blend of hot and cold. Finally, I like
lots of privacy and allow for almost an hour to enjoy a thorough cleansing.
If bathrooms are shared, be sure to plan ahead so others won't be around.
Types of cleansing. The type of cleansing chosen may be determined by you,
the amount of time you have and the amount of sex (and size of the
partner's dick or dildo used). If an accident free cleansing technique is
working for you, that's great and stay with it! I've tried various
approaches and suggest the following options ranging from light to very
thorough. The rectum cleanse is exactly that, a quick rinse of your rectum
to remove anything remaining there from your most recent bowel movement.
If your partner (or dildo) is small and he doesn't stay in you very long
this option can work. For this, I would recommend an anal douche bulb
(described below) being careful not to introduce too much water that could
get into your colon and mix with fecal material in the colon. If it does,
this mixture will likely empty back into your rectum requiring you to rinse
and rinse again. While the rectum cleanse works for me occasionally. I
don't "trust" this approach for any prolonged dick or dildo activities.
The short enema is an attempt to not only cleanse the rectum but also
cleanse at least a portion of the colon as well. It is more thorough than
a rectum cleanse but not as extensive as a full enema. The objective is
get water into the colon sufficient enough to create a feces-water mix to
remove a portion of the feces in the colon, at least through the descending
colon. This process requires a little trial and error but can result in
sufficient cleanliness to last several hours and more sexual activity
during that time. This is particularly important if your partner, and/or
the dildos you enjoy, are relatively large. I use this process when I have
a man calling but I don't have time for a full enema. While I don't trust
it as much as a full enema, I do trust it more than a rectum cleanse.
The full enema cleanses all or a significant portion of the colon, requires
some time (about 45 minutes) and some patience. Oh, but I far prefer it as
it leaves me clean and available for sex with men and/or my dildos for one
to two full days! So, for me, the time and effort is a good pay off as I
will enjoy sex more having the confidence that no "uh-ohs" will likely
happen. As such, I trust this process completely. I can plan for it and
make my man aware of when I will be in "bloom" (a sort of code word that
I'm clean). The one drawback is the time it takes making it difficult for
those opportunities that occur when he wants "some" on short notice. I'll
usually tell a man I need a day's notice. But, if I only have an hour or
two notice, I'll opt for the short enema with fingers crossed. I will also
tell him about any doubts I might have. Talking to your partner about
cleansing will help with his understanding. As horny as you want him to
be, you'll also want him to be patient and understanding.
"Tools" for cleansing. What you choose for cleansing will be determined by
what type of cleansing you want to do. For a thorough enema, you can
choose the "original" enema bag, a bucket or an anal douche squeeze bulb
(which is ideal for cleansing your rectum). We're probably all aware of the
"original" enema bag. The ones I've found are red with a handle for
hanging and a long hose and nozzle for insertion into the rectum. The hose
will have a valve allowing you to start, stop and regulate the flow.
Remember that the slower, the better. There is also an enema bucket that
can be used in much the same way. The advantage of the bag is that it can
be easily packed for travel. The advantage of the bucket is that it allows
you to see how much water is being "deposited" into your rectum and colon.
Most if not all medical supply stores will have the bag while some may also
have the bucket type.
You fill the bag (or bucket) with warm water and hang it, perhaps from a
(sturdy) shower curtain rod so that it is above you. Make sure the hose is
connected securely and the valve is off. The best position I know of is to
kneel with my ass up high, insert the tube in my rear, and turn the valve
on allowing water to enter the rectum. You'll want to gently squeeze the
nozzle with your sphincter to keep it (and water) from slipping out. The
process takes time and patience. However, by relaxing, taking deep and
regular breaths allowing the water to drain into you slowly, you should
receive about 3 or so quarts into your rectum and colon. You will likely
experience some initial discomfort as the water works around that tight
turn between the rectum and the sigmoid colon. Once the bag or bucket is
empty, you then sit on the toilet and allow the water and feces to mix and
then expel it. Don't worry, your body and gravity will do most of the
work. You will want to repeat the process to expel all remnants of the
water and feces. Only this time, you will only need about half as much
water. You may need to repeat the process with less and less water until
the water is clear.
I used the bag and bucket approach for a year or so before opting for the
anal douche bulb. The bulb is more convenient to use, easy to pack for
travel and for me, takes less time. I've never looked for anal douche
bulbs in medical supply stores as they can be found in most sex shops (and
sex shops are more fun to visit). The bulb will be in a relatively small
box and come in red or black with a nozzle that can be screwed into the
bulb or simply pulled out of the bulb for filling the bulb and pushed back
in. It holds about 8 ounces of water. However, when sitting on the
toilet, inserting the nozzle up into my sphincter and squeezing, I will
only get about 4 ounces into my rectum. (Be sure to keep squeezing the
bulb as you pull it out so the water doesn't go right back into the bulb.)
So, with each and every squeeze, about 4 ounces will always remain in the
bulb. So, in order to get the same amount of water into me as a bag or
bucket, I will do 20 squeezes which amounts to 80 ounces of water, or about
2.5 quarts.
I will sit on a toilet within easy reach of a sink or tub faucet for water.
Please remember that it takes the same amount of relaxation and patience as
the bag or bucket approach. I will first do 2-3 squeezes and then expel
the water to clean out any feces that might be in my rectum. Feces in the
rectum can interfere with getting the water into the colon. Once done, I'm
ready to attempt my 20 squeezes. The first few squeezes are easy since I'm
just filling my rectum. The next 3-5 squeezes will be somewhat
uncomfortable as I will then be forcing more and more water "around the
bend" into my sigmoid and descending colon. It is a learning process to
relax through the discomfort and not succumb to the temptation to expel the
water. If you absolutely need to release, please do! Sometimes it helps
to make 2-3 attempts. But, by deep breathing, tucking in the tummy to help
push water into the colon, and relaxing, the colon will accept more and
more water and the discomfort will subside. Also, be sure to fill the bulb
completely with water as air can make things very uncomfortable.
By about the 6th or 7th squeeze, I am now filling the colon. I can
actually hear the water "gurgling" as it reaches the transverse colon. It
should be progressively easier to introduce more and more water until the
20th squeeze is reached. I'm already on the toilet, and the water has been
mixing with the feces. So, I let nature and gravity take its course
expelling all the feces-water mix I can. I help by trying to push, exactly
as one would during a more difficult bowel movement ~ you know, the kind
where nothing seems to want to come out.
Now, I'm "mostly" clean. However, as with the bag and bucket, I will want
to do another cleanse or rinse with 8-10 squeezes, or about a quart. This
helps with mixing and expelling any remaining feces-water mix that might
remain in the colon and possibly the rectum. Another 2-4 squeeze rinse
helps and the water I expel will likely be clear. However, please beware
of the "second coming"! Unlike the light douche or short enema, a more
thorough enema will most likely leave some feces-water residue in your
colon. This is where the fun comes in for me! Included in my enema
regimen is a favorite dildo. I prefer one that is about 8 inches at full
insertion. The dildo will help me work out any remaining residue as it
acts as a piston working inside my rectum which acts as a cylinder. With a
little lube, insert the dildo and push and pull several times (or for as
much fun as you want)!
The piston-cylinder effect creates a sort of vacuum that helps draw out any
remaining residue. There shouldn't be a lot of it, but enough to be a bit
of a mess for you and your man. So, allow time with your dildo with
finding and expelling anything left. A final 1-2 squeeze rinse and you
should be ready for sex. To be on the safe side, it is always helpful (and
fun!) to schedule a little "quickie" with the dildo before your date just
to be sure. During the "quickie" you may experience a lot of natural
"lube" or mucus as mentioned previously. Again, it should be clear,
syrupy, odorless and tasteless. You might want to add a little lubricant
of your own in your sphincter before he arrives. The dildo "test" can
apply to any of the three cleansing techniques described. Have your bulb
ready just in case another rinse is needed.
Water mixtures. Although rare, there can be a danger of using only water
and lots of water during the enema process. What might happen is "water
poisoning" or water toxemia. At the very worst, it can be potentially
fatal if electrolytes (critical for brain function) are totally washed out
of your system from excessive, water only enemas. It would be similar to
drinking a significant amount of water all at once. Symptoms can include
light-headedness, vomiting, nausea and ultimately unresponsiveness.
Personally, I cleanse only with warm water and have experienced none of
these symptoms. However, I must respect both authoritative sources and
respect you. So, I do raise this as a concern. Precautions can include
adding a little salt (1/4 tsp per 8 ounces) to the cleansing water. This
can be easily done if you use a bag or bucket. But, if you opt for the
douche bulb as I do, it is somewhat impractical to prepare a water mix for
up to 20 bulb squeezes. However, to compensate (and restore those
electrolytes) drinking a sport drink like Gatorade during or immediately
after cleansing will help. Of course, this is not an issue for a simple
rectum cleanse and wouldn't be much of an issue for a short enema. The
real concern would be from doing a full enema involving up to 3 or more
quarts of water 2-3 times. Should you encounter any symptoms, please STOP
and consult your physician.
Final notes. Please remember that in all things: cleansing, sex, alcohol,
drugs, etc. too much of a good thing can really be too much of a good
thing. You will want a healthy, balanced and functioning body long after
your interest in sex declines. In planning my cleansing, I'm looking for
some balance between quantity (up to full two days of sex with a man and/or
my dildos) and quality (enjoying him, and/or them, to the fullest). This
leads to the temptation to cleanse and have sex continuously. Since my
opportunities are somewhat limited, I've learned to cleanse once each week
(sometimes twice when a certain opportunity presents itself). I enjoy a
thorough cleansing, enjoy nice clean sex as a result and enjoy the "after
glow" while looking forward to the next time whether a few or several days
later. In so doing, I'm giving my body, my sphincter, rectum and colon
time to readjust to "normal activities". I personally enjoy the interlude
and the anticipation of doing it again! If circumstances prevent
cleansing, it doesn't hurt to offer oral sex if he is so inclined. Some
men like the variety of alternating between my mouth and pussy! But,
please, stay safe, stay sweet and stay healthy!
And, Our Seventh and Final Session: Where to Go!
So, you're all dolled up! You have your make-up on just right! The
wardrobe and accessories you picked out have you looking like you just
stepped out of a glamour magazine. If you like men, you might have spent
some extra time to cleanse ~ just in case. Now, you might be facing that
first time out as a woman and a bit apprehensive. That's ok, it might take
some time to work up the nerve to finally go out totally cross-dressed.
Baby steps can help. But, once you're ready to go out into the world, what
next?
I fondly remember my first time going out in public totally cross-dressed.
Oh, I did harmless little jaunts in my car, quick walks through city parks
and using a fast food drive-thru for a drink. Back in college, I was even
stopped by the police strolling cross-dressed through a neighborhood one
night. Someone had called them thinking I was a prowler. Although
cross-dressed, they could see I was a male under the blinding light of
their flashlights! After some questions, they let me go maybe thinking I
was involved in a fraternity hazing. I was thrilled about going out and
frightened half to death about being stopped! But, for years, my
cross-dressing was confined to my home or a motel room. I would dress up,
experiment with my make-up and wardrobe but not sure if I had the courage
to really get out as a "woman"!
Finally, the time had come when I was comfortable with my looks and
confident enough to venture out. I was in Houston on business for a full
week with all my girlie things! I resolved to go out and sample life, if
ever so briefly, dressed like a woman! But where? I was vaguely aware of
the gay district called "The Montrose" and thought a gay bar would be a
safe place. So, I looked up bars in the phone book trying to find one with
an address that would be in the Montrose area. I found one, called
"Cousins" (I think it still exists) and meekly called them. The bartender
answered and I asked if they allowed cross-dressers. I could sense that my
question seemed ridiculous to him as he all but laughed while encouraging
me to come. So, I had a destination! I put on a tight, black mini-skirt
and a nicely tailored light blue blouse. I did and re-did my make-up, put
on my heels, a long thick black wig and, after several checks in the
mirror, I ventured out to my car twice checking for my wallet, room key and
phone!
I carefully mapped my way from my west Houston motel to the bar located
near downtown. It seemed like an easy drive and I was extra careful not to
invite any interest from the police. I arrived, parked in front of the
bar, grabbed my purse, opened the car door and attempted to leave the car.
I was so excited, that I forgot to take my seat belt off! I had to laugh
as I unfastened the seat belt, caught my breath and ventured into the bar
and into a fun, new world! The lighting inside was subdued. There were
several men inside and most of them turned to look at me. Many smiled,
some even nodded with what I interpreted as approval, and one invited me
over to sit next to him! He complimented me on my looks, my slim waist and
my attempt at doing make-up. It turned out that he organized drag shows!
He was loaded with information on the Montrose district and introduced me
to some of the patrons. He treated me very much like a woman and even
bought me a rose from a very effeminate flower vender. He made me feel so
comfortable and my confidence zoomed! My first thought was how easy this
was!
He was "married" to another man and was presumably the "wife" in that
relationship. So, sex wasn't going to be in our future. But we would meet
several more times including dinner at a nearby café. I was slow to
realize that some men found me attractive as Tricia! Some men were
assertive enough to buy me a drink, ask me to dance, take me out to dinner
and to bed. My dreams were coming true. My first taste of being "out"
dressed as a woman was a total success. I remember driving home in a state
of euphoria and I resolved that if I dressed up, I would always go out! I
would never again be confined to a motel room. I would go on to frequent
countless bars, restaurants, shops and yes, sex shops. I craved the
adventure, the admiring glances from men (and sex with any of them who were
interested). Yes, there would be some folks who giggled or laughed at me.
But, nothing would shake my confidence! My career gave me purpose for
travelling to various regional cities (and a chance to dress) several times
over the years. Since then, I've been dressed up and out seemingly
hundreds of times. I never tire of dressing up and going out for the
adventure, the "rush" and meeting men! From these experiences, I want
share some thoughts about where to go, when to go along with some personal
safety tips!
Finding out where to go as a cross-dresser is much easier than it used to
be. First, I would strongly recommend gay establishments for safety and
acceptance! These days, with the internet you can just "google" gay bars,
gay restaurants or sex shops for any city of appreciable size and have a
fairly accurate listing of what is available, including directions, hours
of operation and links for more details. Before the internet there were
gay bar guides, local gay publications, word of mouth or the phone book (as
with my first "outing"). While helpful, bar guides can be hard to find or
outdated. So, thank you, internet!
While the internet will be more current than a bar guide, it can also be
outdated and the bar you may want to visit could have closed or moved. So,
once you've found one or more locations to visit and if you have time, it
is very advisable to "scout" the location(s) before getting dressed to be
sure they are open. It also helps to know of any street construction,
one-way streets or other traffic impediments beforehand. I don't know
about you, but when cross-dressed I become one of "those" women drivers and
have gone the wrong way down one-way streets or made wrong turns more than
a few times looking for a bar! Many gay bars are very discreet about being
gay bars. Signage may be very subdued and difficult to read, (particularly
at night) or even non-existent. So, some advance "scouting" helps make the
actual experience much easier and safer! Finally, some gay communities are
experiencing "gay" bar closures due to lack of patronage. That's sad as
many have long histories! But, it could also mean that gays are feeling
more accepted at what would otherwise be "straight" bars. Anyway, it's a
good idea to scout the location when it is expected to be open just to be
sure it's still "alive".
Remember too, that as a rule, "clubs" tend to open much later and maybe
only on weekends. They may require a "cover" charge if there are drag
shows or other events planned for the evening. Some may require
identification. Of the hundreds of bars and clubs I've visited only one
refused me for not looking like the image on my driver's license. (It was
a rather seedy, hard core leather bar that apparently didn't accept tranny
types.) As much as I would be excited about a seedy, hard core leather bar,
I politely thanked them and went on to my next stop. Lesbian bars are also
fun as they are much more open to men. Actually, I've met some very
interesting men "hiding out" in lesbian bars.
Now that you've located bars, shops, sex shops or restaurants, it makes a
lot sense to "string" them together in such a way that you're not doing any
excessive driving. Gay establishments can be clustered together in some
communities while spread far and wide in others. For those in clusters,
consider walking if your high heels are up to it! I find it lots of fun to
walk, practicing a little hip movement and amusing men as I pass by!
Anyway, be sure to line the locations out keeping in mind their hours of
operation. Again, the whole point here is to maximize your visiting time
and minimize driving time, especially if you've been drinking. For cities
that you may be unfamiliar with, it makes sense to list the locations, the
address, and phone number on a rough map that you can keep in your front
seat. Make it large enough print so that you can easily glance at the map
and drive safely. Before leaving your first location, double check the
next location on the map before driving. This only helps with driving and
concentration, something I don't do well as a "woman" driver! I tend to
avoid pulling up maps on my phone as they tend to fade out just as I need
them. I'm simply prefer being a "paper" person!
Now that you've selected places to visit, have them listed in some sort of
order and perhaps have that rough map prepared, you might think about when
to go. We all know that most of these locations are going to "heat up"
later in the evening and especially weekends! There's a balance between
being out too early and missing all the fun and being out too late and
risking trouble, particularly if you're drinking! Of course, there's some
"fun trouble" worth getting into! I remember waking up in the morning with
a cowboy snuggled next to me. But, I've also had a guy or two in my car or
motel room that I would have rather not attracted! Interesting things can
happen most any time. But, there is a definite link between "trouble"
(however defined) and how late you intend to stay out. As a rule, I try to
be back by midnight. Trouble seems to start (fights, assaults, traffic
stops, etc.) closer to closing time!
It might also make sense to think about the amount of time you intend to be
cross-dressed and actually "out" beginning with when you intend to leave
home or the motel room and when you plan to return. Then, divide this time
by the number of places you plan to visit allowing time for travel. In
such a way, you can apportion enough time for each place without running
out of time or hurrying to the next stop. Some places may be "dead" with
just a few cars parked around the premises. Other places may be very much
alive and exciting. So, with your time on a "budget" you can re-allocate
time as needed.
It can be fun to strike up a conversation with the bartender. Unless
they're a real dud, they're usually very friendly with trannies and can be
very open as to where the "hot" bars are even if it's not "that" bar.
Sometimes other patrons will volunteer locations as well. This can save
time and extra driving particularly if you find out that a promising
looking bar recently closed or a hot new bar just opened! Starting a
conversation is fun and lets people know you're open, friendly and
confident. Not only might you learn about the community, you never know
where a fun, and "energetic" conversation might lead!
And those fun and "energetic" conversations lead into my final topic:
safety tips when cross-dressed. In the hundreds of times I've been dressed
up and out on my own and at all hours, I've never felt that I was ever in
any physical danger. I don't know if there were ever any close calls or
whether men eyed me with evil intent. Men don't always come on to me in a
direct way inside a bar or a sex shop. Some prefer the shadows outside in
a parking lot where no one else will see or hear them. And, that can be
dangerous. It only needs to happen just once to be a life altering
disaster and attacks on cross-dressers happen. Sometimes attacks are made
by homophobic types who may be homosexual themselves and not willing to
accept it. So, if you're venturing out as a "woman" for the first time or
your 101st time, there are some important things worth remembering. My
experiences lead to the following list:
1) When you're dressed as a woman, you'll be perceived as a woman and a
member of the "weaker" sex. Even if you once played middle linebacker for
the Packers and a dominant top sexually, you could still be perceived by
some as feminine, submissive, a bottom and vulnerable.
2) Always have your phone with you and close at hand. You can probably
deal with a man who may turn out to be harmless. But, it is important that
he knows you have access to help.
3) It is fun to go on outings with someone, perhaps another tranny, a
boy-friend or even a (real) girl-friend. I used to go out alone and on the
prowl for a man. But, lately, I enjoy going out with a platonic male
friend. (My sexual needs are now met by some very nice men whether I'm
dressed up or not.)
4) If you're out on your own, please establish phone contact with a
trusted friend before you go out. If needed, you can call them to summon
help. At least someone will know you're out and expected back at an
established time. Even when out alone, I enjoy texting or calling a friend
telling them how my evening is going, where I am and where I'm going next.
5) While I discourage firearms or knives (especially if buried in a
purse), you might consider some type of "repellent" to spray on an
attacker, perhaps attached to your car keys.
6) When stopping at a bar, club, sex shop or other location, park where
there is adequate lighting and preferably a short walk to the entrance.
Parking way behind near the trash cans is not so smart an idea. A man
might see you and leave to wait outside. If you have doubts when leaving,
ask a patron to escort you. They might like being chivalrous for a "lady"!
7) Don't let the possibility of having sex determine your behavior.
Some men let their penis do the thinking. I'm guilty of letting my pussy
do my thinking. Think a situation through first.
8) And, when it comes to thinking, watch out for the usual (and usually
innocent) come-ons. It can start with "Miss, could you help me out?" and
is usually an invitation for trouble. It may be ride, a few dollars, or
some other concoction. If a man isn't able to manage his transportation or
money, he may be after more than just some pussy. I've been caught in
these situations. I'm one of those who takes in stray men and winds up
waking up with them in the morning. Some were fun. Oh, but some were
awful! So, again, think situations through!
9) Keep your car in good working order. Don't venture out with bad
tires, lights that are out or other mechanical issues. You don't want to
be stranded on the side of a road no matter how exciting that might seem!
10) Bars are places where men go to drink and maybe pick someone up.
But, men who go to sex shops are not there to drink. Some men want sex at
sex shops and for some it can be right there and right then. I'm guilty of
submitting to them and I picked up a case of syphilis as a result. Of
course, I got treatment and now I behave more responsibly. There are a lot
of fun, clean men out there. They are worth looking for. Don't fall for
the first dick you see! And finally,
11) Watch your alcohol intake! It DOES affect your driving and your
choice of men!
These tips are not meant to scare anyone away from venturing out
cross-dressed. Just the opposite! The more we know and share ideas about
safety, the more confident we will be going out and the more enjoyable the
experience! I'm sure many of you have lots of stories that are both erotic
but valuable for others to hear. Such outings can be a rich source of fond
memories! I love recalling my experiences, the spontaneity and even the
mistakes I made. Be sure to share thoughts and ideas on safety. In essence
learn to avoid giving into passion in the wrong place and with the wrong
person.
So, there it is, my 7-part series on suggestions for the amateur
cross-dresser! I so enjoyed writing them. If you suffered though all
seven parts, thank you! If you found any part of it helpful please thank
me by passing anything helpful along to others!
Wishing YOU happy and safe experiences! Tricia
Greetings all!
While my tranny name is Tricia Louise i go by Timi these days. If you got
this far, i hope you enjoyed my story. While i'm a little more into
"retirement" these days, i still enjoy "femming up" a little and visiting
friends, bars and sex shops occasionally.
I'm married. But, I have some great Daddies who enjoy my services. I do
enjoy corresponding with Men who appreciate us along with other like-minded
"demigirls".
Sweett53@zohomail.com
You'll find me very responsive, caring, and friendly. I love swapping
photos and stories and enjoy writing about my adventures, thoughts,
feelings and fantasies.
Please be safe!
Love,
Tricia