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Date: Sun, 29 May 2005 16:05:14 +0100
From: Story Teller <storymeister@gmail.com>
Subject: The Road to Ruin

This is a "Nice" story, no violence, hardly any sex, but a story I am quite
proud of. Copyright rules apply, and all comments are welcome.
**
*THE ROAD TO RUIN*

* *

* *

* *

* *Today is my young sister's birthday: not very significant to you, dear
reader, but as I am 29, and since the first steps I ever took on "The road
to ruin" were on my sisters birthday when I was 19, it means I have been a
sinner for exactly 10 years, and thriving on it.

 I should point out that the choice of words "Road to ruin" was my fathers,
not mine. As far as I was concerned it was the road to Shangri La, the
Yellow Brick Road, the Path of Destiny.

 My family consisted of my parents, my younger sister and myself. I was born
19 months after my parents' wedding, my sister 4 years later, and as far
back as I can remember my parents slept in separate rooms. Since neither
parent would ever contemplate birth control, they probably had intercourse
twice. You understand now my family background. I have to admit, I sort of
went along with it, spending my youth in various church youth clubs, being a
diligent alter boy and generally "Living for God"

 Puberty sort of came and went, and other than frequent "Night Time
Emissions" which my father explained were signs that the devil had tempted
me in my sleep, but no harm was done that a sincere prayer of contrition
would put right, didn't really change my life much. As I grew up, I had
little or no interest in the girls at the youth club; a fact that pleased my
parents greatly, since they hoped that any "Sins of the Flesh" might pass me
by. They even prayed that God had me marked down for something special, a
place in the Church.

 The only worry I had at these times was the dreams I had when the "Night
Time Emissions" happened, they usually consisted of wrestling with some of
the older boys at school, even with a few of the teachers. Sometimes I would
be held down and tickled. Since I had no idea of what gay sex entailed, I
suppose my brain was doing its best to understand the emotions. I had heard
of Homosexuality, but only in the course of sex education at school, and
since the teacher never actually explained what these "Sinners" did to each
other, I had nothing to base my emotions on. Anyway, I had seen Homosexuals
on television (before one of my parents would say "Turn that filth OFF),
usually in a play, or some "camp" comedian telling suggestive jokes: they
usually wore make-up and walked like a woman, so I knew I certainly wasn't
like them.

At 17 I went to University. I lived all of 3 miles from campus so continued
to stay at home, and I immediately joined a couple of church-based groups
along with some sports associations.

 I settled in at university, devoting my time to gaining the best grades I
could, spending my spare time more and more in the athletics club. I had
discovered that if I trained really hard, ran to the point of exhaustion,
the "bad" dreams were less likely to occur. Unfortunately, any benefit I
gained from this might be counter-acted by having to shower if other guys
were there at the same time. I took to going to the training ground,
exercising then jogging home and washing there.

 I was in the beginning of my second year when a group of us were sitting in
class talking generally about pastimes when the subject got round to girls. I
was not bothered by this, I didn't feel "odd" in any way, I just thought I
would some day meet the "Right" girl and my body would sort itself out
naturally. Someone was talking about a club he had been to and said "I
thought I saw you there, Jeff, with a good looking woman by your side".

 "Not me", said Jeff, "Not much chance of seeing me there, I am strictly
gay"

 I looked up trying not to let my jaw drop. Surely I had misheard him. He
didn't look at all gay: he was as normal looking as the rest of us, nothing
like any homosexual I had seen on TV. Since no one else commented, I was
sure I had got it wrong but I did ask one of the others later if I had heard
correctly and he said, "Yes, why, do you fancy him?" I turned on him and
said "That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard", but I was aware
that my face was burning, and later I couldn't get the idea of him with
another man out of my head, even if I still wasn't sure what they would do
to each other

 Life carried on very much the same, although now my dreams seemed more and
more to feature Jeff or any other guy I saw him talking to.

 One day, on my sister's birthday, I skipped training and went shopping to
buy her a present. I had no idea what I might buy, and deep down I knew I
would end up with book tokens. After looking through several shops I ended
up in a large bookstore and started browsing, making one last effort to find
a book she might like before admitting defeat. As she had a keen interest in
History, I was looking at a history of the Tudors, flicking pages, looking
at pictures, studying the depth of notes and indices, when a deep voice said
"If you are an interested beginner, you might find that interesting, but if
you are looking for something more factual I would recommend any of those
three at the end. I looked round and there stood an extremely handsome man
of about 30-35, my height (5'10") and eyes the colour of washed denim. I
felt the blood rush to my face as I stuttered and stammered, "Em, it's em
for my s-sister, it's her birthday". "What age is your sister?" he asked
"F-fifteen" I replied. "Well, I am sure she would find that very
interesting, it is quite comprehensive without being too heavy" he said. "You
look quite flushed, obviously you have been rushing around trying to find
the right gift, why don't we go through to the coffee shop and you can cool
down a bit" By now my face was so red, my body was shaking so much that I
had to nod "Yes" because I didn't have the strength or ability to say "No
thanks, I have to go".

 He lead the way to the coffee shop with me tailing behind wondering if
people could see on my face what was going on in my mind. It had to be
obvious to all; no one had ever felt like this before.

 He introduced himself as David; I told him my name, Andrew. He asked if I
wanted coffee? Milk? Sugar? I just nodded each time, he could have offered
arsenic, I would have agreed.

 We sat down and he started to ask me about myself, I managed to mutter
something about university and he asked about my subjects I said I was
studying law and he showed great interest, explaining that he taught history
and languages, Latin and Greek being his main subjects. He then talked about
the laws of Ancient Greece in the various city-states. I said that while I
knew something of the subject, it was not part of the course so I wasn't
sure what laws applied where. "I have several books on the subject", he
said, "I will write down the titles for you, you can probably find them in
the university library"

 We talked for about 30 minutes, by this time I was quite relaxed and
enjoying his company, not only was what he was saying interesting, but he
made everything I said seem interesting too. Finally the store was ready for
closing so we stood up to leave. "Oh, those books", he said, "Let me make a
list". He wrote down two books, stopped to think, added another, paused
again then said "This is silly, I can't think of what you would find most
interesting. Do you have time? I live about 10 minutes from here by car,
just come back and browse".

 Again, unable to make any excuses, I followed him to his car and we were
soon in a very nice part of the city turning into the driveway of a nice
two-storey house. We got out; he opened the front door and said "Just go
straight through".

 I found myself in a large sitting room, two walls of which was covered
floor-to-ceiling with books. He came in behind me and said "Let me take your
jacket, would you like a drink? I explained that I didn't drink alcohol, but
I would appreciate a soft drink. He went into the kitchen and came back with
a cola of some kind for me and what looked like whisky for himself. We
looked through the appropriate part of the bookshelves and as I started to
make notes he said, "Don't bother writing down titles, just take the books
and return them when you are finished with them". I agreed to take 4 books
and promised to have them back within 10 days. "No problem" he said,
"Whenever"

 We sat down either end of a sofa and just fell into conversation again. I
was feeling happier and more comfortable than I had for a long time when he
stopped in mid-sentence and said "Don't move, you have a loose eyelash". He
moved up to me, reached over and touched me with one finger just below my
right eye. All the time he was staring into my eyes and when he removed the
eyelash he leaned forward and kissed me square on my lips.

 I froze, I panicked, I stopped breathing, and at the same time I did
something I had never done before. I would probably have described it at the
time as "I emitted" I spontaneously shot the biggest load of my life right
into my underwear. The shock and horror of my situation was so overpowering
I couldn't move. At the age of 19 I could feel tears form in my eyes and I
really thought I would die, or at least faint. "Here", said David, "Drink
this". I took a good drink before realising it was his glass and I had taken
a big mouthful of brandy. I coughed and spluttered, but somehow it cleared
my head and I started to calm down.

 "What the hell happened to you?" he said. "Well, today is a day of firsts",
I said, "My first kiss and my first taste of alcohol"

 He laughed and said "You're kidding, right?" I shook my head and said "No,
honestly, I have never tasted alcohol before in my life".

 "Fuck", he said, "I'm not talking about the alcohol, you've never been
kissed?...EVER?"

 "No, never", I said nervously. "Ever done anything else?" he asked. "No"

 My mind was in turmoil, something was happening, something I was sure was
wrong and sinful, but something I liked very much and wanted to continue. What
if he decided to stop because I was so inexperienced? He answered my fears
by leaning forward and kissing me again, this time more slowly and
passionately, then he placed his hand on my thigh and I remembered the mess
I had made in my underpants and I sort of froze and pulled back.

 "Sorry", he said, "I don't want to take advantage, I will stop right
now". "NO",
I almost shouted, then explained that I had "had an accident" He laughed,
smiled kindly and explained to me that only strong self-control had stopped
him doing the same thing. He took hold of my hand, pulled me to my feet and
led me to the bathroom. There he handed me a bath robe and told me to clean
myself then either join him in the bedroom or take the books and leave. As I
showered my thoughts were running in all directions, and it wasn't until I
had dried myself off and put the robe on that I knew where I was going.

 I walked slowly to the bedroom and found David lying on the bed naked; he
stood up, pulled me towards him, slipped the robe from my shoulders and
kissed me. This time I felt his tongue on my lips and for some reason I
could not fathom, I opened my lips and let him enter my mouth. Our tongues
intertwined, firstly in my mouth then in his, causing electric shocks to run
through my body. He turned me towards the bed then gently pulled me down so
that we lay side by side. He started to explore my body and I did exactly
the same to him, although I didn't feel awkward, on the contrary, it felt
the most natural thing in the world.

 That evening he showed me more kindness and emotion than I had felt in my
life. He took me to heights of passion I never dreamt existed and when it
was over I knew my life would never be the same.

 Over the next few weeks I visited him regularly, and each time I learned
something new, the pleasures of oral stimulation, the techniques of control
and even, with patience, the joy of intercourse. After two months he sat me
down one night and told me that he was going abroad for two years to teach
and study. I was heart-broken but he slowly and carefully explained to me
that he had shown me a path that might lead to happiness that my life lay
ahead of me and the choice was now mine.

 He left the country a few weeks later and I was really sad to see him go,
but he had convinced me that this was not an end, just another beginning. We
wrote for the two years that he was away, and have remained friends ever
since, but six months after he left I met Jon, he was at the university as a
mature student, (he was 25) taking a second degree. Three months after we
met I moved into his home, and I am still living with him, although now we
have bought a larger house outside the city.

 When I started to live with Jon, I sat down with my parents and explained
the course my life had taken, and what my future plans were. My mother cried
a lot, but my father looked me in the eye and told me that I had chosen the
road to ruin and I was no longer a member of his family.

 I didn't see either of my parents for over two years after that, but when I
heard that my father was arrested having sex in his car with a prostitute, I
contacted my mother, we met for coffee and eventually we became friends. She
even visits us regularly and she and Jon get on famously. My sister loves us
both, I am godfather to her eldest son, and Jon is godfather to the second. My
father left home after he was fined in court and the last we heard he was
working seven hundred miles away and living with a woman called Angie.

 I still smile sometimes when I think of his last words to me, perhaps when
I am having the occasional glass of wine, when I light a cigarette, but
mostly when I look into Jon's eyes as we lie together in our bed.

 Yes, I chose the road to ruin, and I have never regretted a single step.

 I have even learned to say "Fuck"